Xavier, The World’s Favorite Internet Troll

By: Ronnie Tal | Published: Oct 04, 2023

Step into the whimsical world of ‘Xavier,’ the internet’s favorite individual! Whether it’s ‘Idealist Xavier’ or ‘Xavier Komedy,’ this character has enchanted fans worldwide. He boasts 3.5 million Facebook followers and 29k on Instagram and counting.

According to sources, Xavier is really Pakalu Papito who allegedly works at an IT firm in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is of Indian origin and from what we hear a man with a love for good food and wicked sharp humor. Join us on a delightful journey through ‘Xavier’s’ comical conquests across the web!

A Parent Trap

There are a few things that are as scary for a teenager as making a complete mess out of the house and having your parents find out.

Advertisement

Source: Xavier / Facebook

This user challenged the internet to give them the best solution to this very sticky situation, and low and behold, Xavier swooped in with a truly perfect solution.

Advertisement

Just Hear Him Out

Ah, the magic of puberty, this wonderful time that turns us from ugly ducklings into beautiful swans (with some awkwardness thrown in for good measure).

Advertisement

Source: Xavier / Facebook

This young gentleman wanted to flaunt his good looks for the world to see, but Detective Xavier knows better than to trust social media and its many deceptions.

Safety First

We all want to perform grand gestures in the name of love. Who hasn’t felt the need to serenade their loved ones, surprise them with a trip abroad, or arrange the perfect romantic picture?

Advertisement

Source: Xavier / Facebook

This post, challenging people to live in the moment and not worry about the petty things- like falling on the train tracks, hasn’t gone past Xavier’s superior intellect.

The Life of a Gentleman

In this day and age, many people wonder- where did the chivalry go?

Advertisement

Source: Xavier / Facebook

This user obviously shares this general wondering, hoping to find that special someone who will treat her like a lady. But Xavier doesn’t deal with abstract ideas, he is a man of practical answers.

The Spelling Police

Planning on posting something without doing a spell-check beforehand? Xavier cannot abide!

Source: Xavier / Facebook

This user wanted some indulgence ideas from their online friends, and Xavier proved that he’s the ultimate friend but offering them not what they want but what they truly need.

Advertisement

A Bug’s Life

Who knew Xavier was so into biology? Our witty friend clearly isn’t satisfied with the partial information offered in this post, and he’s looking for the full and complete answer. Clearly, his curiosity knows no bounds.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Advertisement

Bamboozeled

Xavier is a master prankster, apparentely. Just look at how this mastermid made his gilrfried falle in love with him all over again without even noticining!

Source: Xavier / Facebook

She was so enthralled with this ‘new guy’ that she didn’t even realize that it was Xavier, it was him all along.

Advertisement

Rude Awakening

Xavier is not the type to shy away from a good joke it seems.This tired user posted a picture of themselves supposebly mid-nap. What they failed to realize was the fact that their hand’s shadow was clearly visible in the photo.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Leave it to Xaveir, however, to spice up the situation and add some waterfowl into the mix.

Advertisement

Ridiculous Pocket for a Ridiculous Paycheck

There are some objects that we’ll never know to the true purpose of, and very close to the top of this list would be the useless, miniature pockets sown into our jeans.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

But it is usless though? Because it looks like Xavier may have found the pocket’s meaning.

Advertisement

Pay Up

Xavier is here not only to entertain, but apparentely he’s also here to teach us some closly-guarded secrets. Who knew we had to keep tabs on how long our relationship trial period

Source: Xavier / Facebook

lasts?! Now we’re sure to mark that calendar so we can cancel our subscription in time.

Advertisement

The Master Becomes the Student

It seems like whenever a complicated problem arises, Xavier will be right there to offer us the simplest, most obvious solution, making our lives so much easier in the process.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

It looks like Xavier is an advocate for the ‘What better advice to follow than your own’ way of life.

Advertisement

Read it Again

This is why punctuation matters people! Our Xavier seems to have gotten into an amusing miscommunication, and we’re here for it.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Don’t forget the comma next time, Xavier.

Advertisement

Can’t Snap the Rap God

Sometimes you have to know when to pick your battle, and if this post- and Xavier- are to be believed, Anthony Mackie sure does know how to pick them.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Leaving a promising rapping career is never easy, but Xavier accurately obsereved that Mackie had a better chance at beating and intergalactic purpule villain than matching Eminem’s rapping skills.

Advertisement

Old Faithful

Some people have been trying to convince us for yeats that it’s okay for men to cheat because, you know, boys will be boys.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

But Xavier is having none of that! In a brilliant move he makes sure that we know exactly which women hold the heart of every man!

Advertisement

Always Signle Never Mingle

Any singles in the audience? Looks like we got a hot bachelor on our hands!

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Looks like hi reaction to a rather innocent toilet sign is heavily hinting that maybe it’s time for Xavier to settle down.

Advertisement

It Takes Skill

Again we have Xavier noticing the truly important details in this so-called romantic picture. Because really, what does true love even mean if you can’t hone enough skill to help your loved one close their jacket!?

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Xavier is here to help us face the real issues in life.

Advertisement

Double Trouble

Some people don’t have any redeeming qualities in the eyes of the ones they’re trying to date, and it looks like Xavier is one of those people.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Because apparently if you can’t get a hold of a nice car, what is it that you have to offer?
Well, we’d like to point at Xavier’s immaculate humor. Car or no car, he’s a catch.

Advertisement

Cool as a Cucumber

Even in the face of rejection, Xavier never loses his cool.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Oh, we’re sorry, it wasn’t a rejection, the lady on the other side probably just didn’t realize the rules of the game. Good thing Xavier was there to sort things out.

Advertisement

Anatomy Lesson

Why does the father is known as the head of the family? Well, if we ask Xavier the answer is pretty simple: it’s because he is the easiest to manipulate.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Who really is the one pulling the strings, putting in the work, and making things happen? Why it’s mom of course, or rather, the neck!

Advertisement

A Lesson in Self-Importance

While this user was out there creating memes about what girls might be thinking of him, Xavier was at the same time sharpening his tongue.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

We think he isn’t the only one who needed this reminder. No one is actually putting that much thought into you like you are about yourself. Or what you’re wearing for that matter.

Advertisement

There’s No Place Like Home

Seems as though Xavier’s loneliness knows no bounds, and now, believe it or not, he’s also homeless!

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Well not actually homeless, more like emotionally homeless, at least if this post is to be believed. We’re all rooting for you Xavier. Don’t they say that love has no bounds?

Advertisement

Substance Over Style

Mark Zuckerberg might not be such an underdog, but when Xavier sees injustice he will always call it out.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Someone decided to make a comment about Zucky and his wife’s casual, daily clothes, and Xavier came to the rescue with more of that sweet, sweet common sense.

Advertisement

Nothing But Facts

Everyone is bound to be wrong at least once in their life right? Well, not if you ask Xavier! But to be fair, after releasing such a bold statement the only thing you can really do is hold your ground.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Otherwise, no one will ever take you seriously again, and that’s something brave Xavier can’t afford. Also, he’s literally always right.

Advertisement

Rush Him to the Burn Unit

Some people just need to double-check the photos that they upload, and last the summon the wrath of Xavier. A rather amusing post about three suspicious-looking flies turned into a direct appointment to the nearest dermatologist’s office.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

We recommend investing in a good bottle of Aloe gel for those Xavier burns.

Advertisement

A Man of Science

Another case of Xavier answering the REAL questions. While this user contemplated why the universe decreed that lawyers must always be hot, Xavier saw the educational opportunity and came in with the explanation she needed.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

No answer as to why lawyers are handsome though, that shall remain a mystery, unless Xavier has some insights about that as well. We are tuning in eagerly to find out.

Advertisement

Problem Solved

Finally, someone’s been doing their job right! It looks like this self-help book did exactly what it was supposed to do, and don’t think that Xavier doesn’t know when to share praise when one is deserving!

Source: Xavier / Facebook

These are precious words coming from that man’s keyboard. Cherish them

Advertisement

Awkward!

Meeting your partner’s parents is never easy, but texting them is a whole other level of weirdness.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

And it looks like Xavier may not be that boyfriend that you’d want to introduce to your folks, seeing as he’s willing to share some extreme details to make a point. Oh Xavier, what will we do with you?

Advertisement

Growing Strong at Grandma’s

This user probably wanted to complement his Nana’s cooking, or her nourishing love and affection.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

But you’ll have to agree that the images he chose show less heart and more pecs. Xavier certainly thinks so and I think most would agree.

Advertisement

Putting Your Eggs All in One Basket…Fridge

Sometimes Xavier gives us the most wonderful conclusions, some things we might never have considered. This user, for example, wanted to amuse themselves with an image of what a protein-obsessed gym bro’s fridge might look like,

Source: Xavier / Facebook

and then Xavier added the twist that absolutely no one saw coming. We wonder if there are free-range gym gut eggs.

Advertisement

Smooth Operator

With all of Xavier’s complaints about single life, you’d think he would put some more effort into finding a partner, or at least hold a decent conversation with one! Alas, Xavier failed to make this girl feel as special as she is.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Maybe next time don’t reveal your game this early Xavier, keep the illusion going for at least a little while.

Advertisement

Mister Know-it-All

Whenever some uneducated goofball, who thinks they hold the solution to every problem under the sun, appears on the internet to ‘share their wisdom’ Xavier is never far behind.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

This time, a self-proclaimed engineer thought they had the best idea regarding road construction. Thank heavens Xavier was there to let them know exactly what their logic amounts to.

Advertisement

A Change in Perspective

Xavier is not one to give up easily, especially when it comes to his special someone. Even in the face of fierce competition, Xavier finds a way to make it all about him. We’ll let you decide whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

In the meantime, we can all share a chuckle over his classic switch-a-roo.

Advertisement

Not a Shoulder to Cry On

Some believe that social media is the place where you can share every and all of the things happening in your life, good or bad. But not only does Xavier seem to disagree with this notion, but he also disagrees with what constitutes good news and bad news.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

While this lady might think that her new relationship is a blessing to be shared, Xavier can’t be bothered with all this drama.

Advertisement

Persistence is Key

What makes a good comedian great? The dedication to the joke. And while we’ve already said that Xavier doesn’t give up easily, we failed to mention how far he’ll go for the perfect comeback.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Sometimes taking something literally is the best answer you can come up with, even in the face of rejection. We do recommend respecting people’s wishes though.

Advertisement

Special Skills

Is it really a surprise that the undisputed king of the internet would have some impressive digital skills in his arsenal? Because if this post is to be believed, Xavier might be able to bend the

Source: Xavier / Facebook

space-time continuum when he’s online. Next time maybe he’ll teach us the ways of time travel.

Advertisement

Hints are For the Weak

When Xavier wants something, he goes after it without hesitation and without playing games, just like we see in the post below. Do you have a romantic theory? Xavier will be right there to prove you right.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

We’re only hoping that this straightforward approach will prove successful for you Xavier.

Advertisement

Down to Earth

This user is definitely aiming high in his pursuit of happiness if this image is to be believed. But what about us common folks who can’t afford thousands of dollars worth of technology? Well, Xavier, of course, holds the answer to this question.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Do you want happiness? You won’t find it in the electronics store, mostly because you can’t afford it.

Advertisement

Oh Snap!

No one battles with Xavier and goes away unscathed! This lady thought she could challenge the internet’s sharpest tongue, and she had another thing coming for her.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

While we don’t condone calling other people cows, we can’t say that this wasn’t at least somewhat amusing. Okay, it was very amusing. Maybe even hilarious

Advertisement

Children are Our Future

Who said Xavier can’t be helpful? Well, no one, but we cannot ignore his brilliance here. The user thought they had only two options in life, and here come Xavier to save the day and

Source: Xavier / Facebook

reassure them that even if they think they’ve exhausted all their option- there is still hope. What would the future child have to say about this? That is none of Xavier’s concern.

Advertisement

No Secret is Safe

Xavier is not known for his gentlemanly behavior, but he is known for his detective instincts. Just look at how quickly he was able to draw this very confidential information out of the lady on the

Source: Xavier / Facebook

other side of the chat. We’re waiting to see what might be his way to find out a man’s salary.

Advertisement

Unbreakable

Finally, it looks like Xavier found what he was searching for all this time. After what looked like endless rejections and romantic mishaps, the internet gave him a heart that couldn’t be broken.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

No really have you ever seen a broken Nokia? We rest our case.

Advertisement

Fast Thinker

There is no situation stickier than finding out your darling has another darling, maybe only having to face them, even digitally. Just the thought of it makes us cringe in our seats.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Sadly for Xavier, he had to come up with a good save real fast, and whether he delivered or not is up to you to decide.

Advertisement

Words of Wisdom

If you are looking for words to live by, you can always count on Xavier to provide them. With a phrase that sounds like it came out of a wise hermit’s mouth.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

We think Xavier has cracked the recipe to success. Just some words of warning here, make sure you check the quality of the fisherman before taking advice about the fish.

Advertisement

Didn’t have a Xavier response

We aren’t sure if time has stopped or if we need to get our eyes checked but whatever Japan is doing we need to hop on their train, they are more efficient in a week than we could ever be. Although we are still a bit to rattled to get on their roads.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

It’s been 24 years and the only thing that’s changed on our end is this girl’s height in front of the same pothole. We get it, Xavier, no need for your ever-so-subtle shaming, although what is life if we can’t poke a little fun amongst friends?

Advertisement

Keep it in the Family

It looks like the thing Xavier hates most of all is other people’s ridiculous questions. No one has time for that. I guess the saying “there is no such thing as a stupid question” wasn’t the complete truth after all.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Even this user’s innocent riddle couldn’t escape Xavier’s sarcastic humor, no one cares how old this man’s sister is, he probably doesn’t either if he doesn’t even know! Xavier, we also don’t know why he asked.

Advertisement

Mama’s Boy

Is there anything sweeter than a boy who cherishes his mother? Even Xavier, the sharp-tongued master prankster understands that this bond is a special one. It looks like our beloved internet persona gave us a rare glimpse into his soft side.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

On the other hand, maybe he should get out more and find a girlfriend sooner rather than later.

Advertisement

Beware the Gold Digger

Not one to be taken advantage of, witty Xavier shows us the best way to handle those who might want us just for our cash (whether or not we want to believe it).

Source: Xavier / Facebook

And of course, the answer is to always take things as literally as humanly possible to avoid falling for this trap. Maybe Xavier is right and that is the solution to everything after all, be literal, not cynical and if you’re Xavier, you’re clever enough to have a bit of both.

Advertisement

Xavier Doesn’t Share Food!

We live in a society that expects certain manners, and by the looks of it, it looks like Xavier is having none of that. For Xavier, giving up a yummy treat to be nice to a friend just isn’t worth it.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

Sharing is caring Xavier, one day you might want that last French fry too. Karama may not be in your favor after this.

Advertisement

Love Me, Love Me Not

We all want to be accepted and loved, especially be those we admire but be careful what you wish for you don’t want the wrong kind of attention. In this case we don’t think Xavier had the right idea.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

To love them and leave them is far from ideal but when it comes to the traffic police we wouldn’t mind leaving them behind in our rearview mirror. Sorry not sorry Xavier.

Advertisement

Minus and Minus Make Plus

Sometimes love doesn’t find a way, but looks like Xavier is willing to give it a map, a flashlight, and maybe even a ride as long as it finds its way to him.

Source: Xavier / Facebook

While it’s not certain if a double rejection actually works (or even if it’s appropriate), it’s hard not to feel for the guy. That being said, Come, Xavier, let the girl be.

Advertisement