Your Last Bad Decision Could Have Been A Lot Worse: Tattoo Edition
While it’s becoming increasingly common to see a “tat” while out and about at the pool or DMV, it’s still largely a topic of contention. For some, it’s a rite of passage or an artistic expression. For others, tattoos represent the stain of lifelong regret. Either way, having an image or words inked onto your body is a big decision and should probably not be taken lightly. Probably.
But not everybody listens to these words of wisdom. Some of the tattoos on this list were likely the result of intoxication or a general lack of executive function. Others we suspect were the result of an in-joke or the YOLO mentality. Either way, they’re great examples of why your last bad decision could have probably been a lot worse.
“Haha! Good one!” is about as much as you’re going to get out of this piece. Now you have to look at these ironic upside-down letters for the rest of your life or go through the painful process of having them removed. We wonder how long it took before the joke started to wear thin.
It’s a tattoo for those with a supreme sense of humor. We admire their dedication to the bit; the letters were inked in extra-large, so there’s little chance of getting them covered up with something more aesthetically pleasing.
Why did you spend hours getting this permanently etched into your skin? There are stink lines and everything! Presumably, this was the result of a high-stakes bet gone wrong.
Or perhaps her tattoo artist boyfriend found out she’d been cheating while he was inking a “koi fish wave” onto her back. The only consolation is that she probably won’t have to look at it herself very much.
An Early Design
Either an absolute beginner inked this, or the artist did the job while riding pillion on the back of his client’s bike. Some people take months to choose their first tattoo. This tattoo looks like it was finished in a matter of seconds.
The frame’s proportions look good, but the wheels look like a kindergartener slapped them on. We only hope this tattoo was small and easily hidden. It’s not the most shameful on this list, but it’s not exactly top-notch art, either.
Longview Of The Dookie
If you really (really) squint at this picture, you’ll see two of the three iconic pop-punk Green Day band members, and for some reason, Chuck Norris, performing over the band’s first mainstream album, Dookie.
Unfortunately, this rendition of the trio seems to have been inked by at least three different people of varying abilities. Frontman Billie Joe Armstong seems to be depicted here with a “Trolol” Rage Comic cartoon face.
Marilyn Monroe Circa 1972
Capturing one of the most beautiful women of the 20th century is no easy feat. Here’s an excellent example of why it’s crucial to develop restraint—you’ll end up inking a depiction of Marilyn Monroe ten years after she was buried—post-exhumation.
It’s clear that the artist was trying to add an element of shadow to the image, but we think the artist of this tattoo went too far in a few places. It looks like parts of her face have bruised or gone off. We can’t imagine how this would look with sunburn.
The Layers Of Meaning
It’s true—some people’s pits do have a pungent onion smell. But is that any reason to get one permanently drawn on your body, in color, no less? Unless she’s a chef or an onion aficionado, this tattoo must have made her cry a few minutes after walking out of the parlor.
Whatever the story is behind this tattoo, we’re not sure if we want to know it. Although it’s easy to forget, women do grow armpit hair too. Can you imagine what this would look like if she decides not to shave it? Fluffy onion, anyone?
Take A Load Off
Picture this: you’re on vacation, and you’re feeling a little more daring than usual. You and your friends come across a tattoo parlor. After a mad round of “I dare you,” you enter the premises. You sit down on one of the chairs and ask the artist to put “the first thing that comes to mind” on your arm.
The artist looks around, snaps his fingers, and grabs the needle. Three hours later, this is the result. Unless this guy is just the biggest fan of leather swivel chairs and Ottomans, we can’t imagine it going down any other way. It does look comfy, though.
Please Say Yas
Fellas—or anyone who might be looking for a tattoo, really—no longer are we primitive apes eating bugs off of each other’s backs or crawling around in the mud in dark caves. We have the internet. We have spell check. There’s no need to fall for this kind of trap anymore.
It takes two to tango. Either two people didn’t have a brain cell to rub between them, or a horrible “accent accident” occurred. When taken literally, this could simply be a request for Nina to produce a joke or festive cheer. We wonder what she said in the end.
While some of the other examples on this list seem shallow or badly thought out, this depiction of two beef drapes over a cracked window really stands out. The metaphor or secret message might have gone over our heads, but it’s certainly fascinating to look at.
Do the broken windows imply that the house is unoccupied? What’s with the fly on the side? With this level of detail, there’s no mistake about what the tattoo artist was trying to achieve. It’s like looking at a hallucination or a nightmare.
This is the most insane Halloween mask we’ve ever seen. It’s a very creative idea—but one we’d happily leave in our imaginations rather than inked forever on our face. Lord help him if he or any of his loved ones develops arachnophobia.
After seeing this tattoo, there’s a good chance of anyone developing a fear of spiders. It’s got potential as carnival face paint, but as a permanent addition to our faces, we’ll have to let this one dangle.
Stay Strong No Matter...Huh?
So you’re on the bus minding your own business and you look up from your phone and see this. At first glance you think “ah, ok, what a sweet reminder.”
Then you take a second to spell-check. Yeah, there is definitely something off with the “what” in this sweet message. Here’s to hoping she is still choosing to stay strong.
We’re not quite sure what it is about a howling wolf that makes people think “yes, this is my next tattoo.” But, hey, to each is their own.
We get the feeling this wolf tattoo was supposed to put off a strong, I stand alone feel. Instead, we are getting sheer terror vibes. If you listen closely you can almost hear his sad attempt at a howl.
Can't Fully Commit
What do you do when you wanna looked like a ripped Greek God, but you don’t have time for the gym? You fake it till you make it baby. We can’t decided if this is genius or just goes to show how noncommittal this guy really is.
He doesn’t have time for the gym but can sit for what must have been hours-on-end being poked repeatedly to create foe abs.
No Lies Here
Now here on the other hand we have to respect this guys full blow commitment to his six pack. A six pack of beer that is.
We all must applaud this gentleman on his top-notch beach bod.
Everyone Loves Fudge
“Only God Can Judge Me” has to be one of the most popular tattoos. We’re not sure if this was an intentional spoof on the popular ink, but we’re here for it either way.
Fudge is always a go in our book, and the fact this tattoo is leaving judgement up to the deliciousness that is chocolate is fine with us.
What Color Is It?!
In 2015, it seemed like everyone was arguing over whether ‘the dress’ was black and blue or white and gold.
Now this tattoo fan can relive the debate every. single. day. of their lives. We’re not going to lie…it looks pretty obvious it’s black and blue.
2020, What a Year.
A Dutch man decided to get a “corona tattoo” to commemorate the 2020 pandemic. He decided to get a roll of toilet paper. “For me, the toilet roll is The Product of 2020. I will never forget this time.”
If you’re going to commemorate a moment in history in ink, perhaps panic buying toilet roll during the pandemic isn’t the most aesthetically pleasing choice.
This reference to a Vine video of a hurt man was funny once and only for a few moments.
The video platform was great while it lasted but it would have been probably best to leave this quote online.
Please Don't Eat These
First, it was the “gallon challenge” then the “cinnamon challenge.” Then videos started circulating on social media showing kids biting into brightly colored laundry detergent pods. You would “think” most people would know better than to do something so crazy…
But alas the Tide Pod Challenge was born. This tattoo fail pays a shocking tribute to the “forbidden fruit” aka laundry pods.