Fighting Grime, Scratching Itches: The AI-Created Superheroes We Really Need
You are about to enter a world beyond the usual Superheroes, a world in which artificial intelligence (AI) solves your most pressing everyday problems. If you’re tired of daily chores and petty annoyances, AI can help you.
These Superheroes may not be able to save the Universe from total destruction, but they can make your day easier. So rejoice in the new technology!
Meet Pollinator Man. His job is to make sure that flowers get pollinated all over the world so that nature continues its cycle of growth. He’s basically Mother Nature’s sidekick and is devoted to his job.
There’s only one teeny problem. Pollinator Man is allergic to pollen, so, well, he has to mask up every day. Somehow the AI guys could have done better on this creation. But his costume is so adorable, what with the bee theme, that we can’t blame him. He’s awesome.
MRI Woman has one job – to make it impossible for cancer to find itself during an MRI. She saves lives using her superpower in magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to erase cancer in the results.
She’s fierce and powerful, kicking cancer out of the picture, and is a prototype for even more healthcare heroes. We can’t wait to see future medical Superheroes that will help rid the world of illness and pain.
Finally, we have a Superhero for the working man and woman. She ensures there is always coffee whenever anyone in the world needs it. Her work is never-ending, and millions of people worldwide worship her.
Her superpowers include knowing the ingredients for each human’s cup of coffee, the size of their cup, and how hot they like it. She has saved many employees from dozing on the job and given energy to countless parents after sleepless nights.
Even though we all have a hate/love relationship with pun-makers, the world needs a Superhero who is always ready with an appropriate pun. This one is more clever than your dad, so the puns are actually funny.
And, if his puns aren’t that funny, they will at least be worthy of a moan or groan from the audience. And isn’t that the purpose of a good pun? You expect to laugh and then shake your head at the attempt at humor. This Superhero will always succeed in providing that experience.
I’ll Do It Tomorrow Man
Here we have the Superhero of laziness! What a role model for the kids! This guy will definitely, probably, most likely, do what you ask “later.” He promises he’ll do it right after he gets up. Really, he means it with all his heart.
This Superhero is serious about his purpose in the Universe. All the procrastinators in the world follow in his footsteps. It’s so good to have someone to admire. Most of his followers are teenagers.
He’ll Change the Cat Litter
This guy lives to help you handle cat litter. He knows you hate doing that, so he is here for you. He either changes it or pours it, or both. Plus, he has a cool arm that looks like it’s made out of cat litter.
Also, check out his expression – this Superhero means business and will only stop once all the cat litter throughout the Universe is changed and ready for the cat. Of course, that’s a full-time job, but he looks ready for action. Thank goodness.
Super Dishwasher Hero
Now, this is the Superhero we’ve been waiting for; where has he been all our lives? He flies from home to home, washing dishes, drying them, and putting them away, saving men and women from hours of torture.
We love this guy! Imagine him swooping in just as your family finishes dinner, clearing the table, and washing the dishes while you relax. Of course, he must be swamped, but then again, he’s a Superhero, so we expect he can handle it.
Let Me Open That
Grab that jar of pickles off the shelf, and Jar Opener Man appears just in time to say, “Let me do that,” open the jar, and go off to help someone else. We’ve needed him for years, so thank goodness AI created him.
Apparently, he has six fingers, and who knows what other superpowers, to help him. All we have to do is start to open a jar, and he’ll be there, no matter the time of day. Isn’t it a relief to know that modern science can solve these serious problems?
Hundreds of times each day, people run out of change for their parking meters. They glance around, asking passers-by for spare change, and hope for the best—no need for that anymore, folks. Chang-for-the-Parking-Meter-Man is here.
Just as you are about to give up and hope you don’t get a ticket, this Superhero will appear, hand you the change you need, and be off in a flash. Think of the money you’ll save on parking tickets and how grateful you are to have this fellow in the Universe.
Oh, Just Let Me Do It
Oh, the horrors of changing the fitted sheets. One corner fits, and then the other one pops up. The sheet always seems too small or needs five or six people to make it fit. Enter Fitted-Sheet-Woman! We’ve been waiting for her!
She comes to your house and gets that sheet on the bed in seconds. Her presence relieves you of that inevitable fight with your partner, who somehow can’t figure out how the darn thing works. She’s saving beds and relationships at the same time!
We have no idea how teachers do what they do. They manages 20-30 kids, try to teach, stop fights, and are patient with parents. We need Teacher Woman, who is the true Superhero of our times.
She’ll straighten out those impertinent kids, get them do their work, and find time to mark some papers. Then, she’ll go home, make dinner, put her kids to bed, and prepare for the next day. But, of course, we do not know how she accomplishes this, so she must be the ultimate Superhero.
Losing a contact is one of the Universe’s great problems. Those clear plastic disks pop out, land on the floor, and you enlist 10-15 friends to crawl around trying to find them. No more, folks. Now Contact-Lens-Woman is on the job.
She’s intense and won’t stop until the AWOL contact is back in your hand. She is ruthless, unstoppable, and has excellent eyesight, which is a plus in this job. We welcome her to the Superhero Universe.
I’ll Take One Stack
Who loves the smell of fresh coffee (cue Coffee Woman) and freshly buttered toast in the morning? If that doesn’t get you out of bed, dressed, and to the kitchen, nothing will. But what a pain it is to butter all that toast!
Well, stop fretting, you lazy people. Buttered Toast Man (BTM) is here! He comes to your kitchen every day to butter your toast so you can sit down and enjoy it—no more fighting with cold sticks of butter and torn toast. BTM is on the job.
My Aching Feet
Millions of people in the Universe complain about their feet. Why? Because they buy fashionable shoes which may also be uncomfortable shoes. Many people are not brave enough to bite the bullet and buy comfortable shoes.
Welcome to Comfortable-Shoes-Man (CSM). He will visit you as you dress in the morning and supply you with comfy shoes just right for your needs. And they will look fabulous. No more worries about the fashion police now that the AI world has created CSM.
What Your Garden Needs
Cheers go to Toad Man, who is the gardener’s friend. Toads are very helpful to gardeners; they consume tons of the critters that ruin gardens. As a result, many people try to get at least a few toads for their gardens.
AI has solved this problem; there is no need to find toads ever again. Toad Man will ensure your garden is healthy, bug-free, and at its maximum nutrition level. He is dedicated to gardening, and strong enough to beat down a giant mosquito.
Happy or Creepy?
We’re trying to figure out what to do with this Superhero. He’s named Happy Man, but the look in his eyes is a little creepy. He’s a little too happy and smiley. So maybe his purpose in the Universe is to spread a little sunshine (just not too much).
We’re also not sure what the R on his uniform stands for, but his hair is lovely, and his teeth are very white. Maybe people will smile to see such a delighted person glowing with health. Let’s hope so.
A Superhero is desperately needed to solve this everyday dilemma. Whether at home or going out to eat, deciding what to eat can become an arduous task. You want one thing, and your partner wants another; no one is happy.
We need I-Don’t-Know-What-Do-You-Want-To-Eat Woman. She will stare you down until you make a decision. But we’re still determining if she will be happy with your decision. So you may end up eating what she wants. It isn’t very clear.
When You Can’t Quite Reach
How often do you have that annoying itch on your back but can’t quite reach it? You may ask your partner to help, but if you’re living alone, you might end up edging up to a wall and rubbing your back on it like a cat.
Thank goodness for the AI pros – we can call on Back-Scratching-Man! Hopefully, you can pick which of his tools you prefer because some look a bit over the top.
This Thing is Hard to Carry
Getting your vessel to the water is challenging for all you kayakers out there. Kayaks are heavy and bulky, hard to balance, and you need help! Not to worry, Mr. Kayakhead is here for you. The AI masters have solved your problem.
Mr. K-Head doesn’t need to hold on to the kayak because the kayak is actually his head. How convenient for both of you! And if you’ve never gone kayaking because you can’t figure out how to carry the boat, your Superhero has solved that problem. Enjoy your new sport!
Going out Now, Bye!
All parents need some time alone. Even if it’s just a couple of hours away from the kids’ demands, they need to get out of the house. The problem comes down to finding a babysitter.
The AI world has created your dream Superhero – Babysitter-Man! He’ll come to your house and handle those kids like a pro – feed them, bathe them, and put them to bed. It’s true! That is, unless, like Babysitter Man pictured above, the kids prove beyond his super capabilities. Then you’re in trouble.
With Fabric Softener Man around, you’ll never have the dreaded static electricity problem with your clothing. Instead, you can trust him to make sure those little cloths or that gooey liquid are always added to your laundry routine. What a relief this is.
Imagine a world where clothing doesn’t cling and always smells fresh. It’s a dream come true, and Fabric Softener Man is here to provide it. He’s the Superhero we always needed.
Clearly, Mr. Static Electricity (SE) is the enemy of Mr. Fabric Softener (FS), so the AI world has created a little conflict. Will there be a war or at least a cool battle? We await the movie scenes where FS man pours fabric softener onto SE man.
This guy is strong but also attracts balloons and has some hairdo problems. Also, he is so full of electricity that he generates smoke. Keep him out of your life by calling on Mr. FS to save you.
What a helpful Superhero! As soon as you have a bathroom backup, Plunger Man swoops in with his unique plunger to solve the problem. And look how happy he is to do the dirty work for you.
As a true Superhero, his job isn’t done when the clog is fixed. He stays around to clean up the mess and ensure your restroom is shiny and fresh. The AI pros have really done it this time; this is a task none of us wants to do.